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Emergency Warnings for Readers of the Saltshaker Press

The Saltshaker Press utilizes AI content which should be read with caution!

Not recommended for readers under 80 years!

Some political figures may find it offensive!

emergence warnings for readers of the Saltshaker Press. Image 2 of 4

  1. Warning: Excessive use of this product may lead to extreme relaxation and uncontrollable couch cuddling. (For a comfy blanket)
  2. Caution: This product contains sarcasm. May cause confusion and hurt feelings in users with a low tolerance for wit. (For a sarcastic greeting card)
  3. Warning: Opening this box may release a flock of butterflies... entirely metaphorically. We're not responsible for actual butterflies. (For a self-help book on overcoming fear)
  4. Important Safety Information: Do not attempt to outrun this lawnmower. You will lose. Every time. (For a powerful lawnmower)
  5. Caution: This product may spontaneously combust if exposed to extreme boredom. We recommend using it regularly for optimal performance. (For a children's activity book)
  6. Warning: Contents may cause uncontrollable giggling fits. Not recommended for use during important meetings or while operating heavy machinery. (For a collection of funny animal videos)
  7. Important Note: This furniture is not for climbing. Yes, even if it looks like a giant jungle gym. We tried to warn you. (For a particularly climbable chair)
  8. Caution: May contain nuts. Seriously, though, there are actual nuts in this product. Please don't try to use them as replacement bolts for your car. (For a bag of mixed nuts)
  9. Warning: Instructions included. May be confusing. We recommend using this product with a friend, a cup of coffee, and a healthy sense of humor. (For anything requiring complex assembly)
  10. Important Safety Information: This product is not a magic wand. While it may be incredibly awesome, it cannot solve all of life's problems. (For a multi-tool)

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