"I used to be delusional but ...."

 

Complete this statement in 20 humorous different sentences:"I used to be delusional but ...."

1. I used to be delusional, but then reality hit me...like a math test I forgot to study for.
2. I used to be delusional, but then I realized my pockets were always empty and that was definitely real.
3. I used to be delusional, but then Netflix recommended a documentary and whoa, that snapped me back to reality.
4. I used to be delusional, but then my cat looked at me with that "you serious?" judgment and I knew I had to get real.
5. I used to be delusional, but then my sleep schedule decided to become a Jackson Pollock painting and reality set in.
6. I used to be delusional, but then my bank account balance gave me a much-needed wakeup call.
7. I used to be delusional, but then I tried parallel parking and let's just say, reality came crashing in.
8. I used to be delusional, but then I burnt toast for the third time this week and that smoky smell brought me back to Earth.
9. I used to be delusional, but then my to-do list grew longer than a rap artist's vocabulary and reality hit hard.
10. I used to be delusional, but then I tried explaining my grand ideas to my dog and his blank stare said it all.
11. I used to be delusional, but then I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk...face first. Ouch! Reality bites.
12. I used to be delusional, but then someone pointed out my fly was wide open and let's just say, that was a reality check.
13. I used to be delusional, but then I tried following a recipe and, well, my culinary skills say it all.
14. I used to be delusional, but then my phone died and the world went silent. Guess it wasn't all bad.
15. I used to be delusional, but then I tried adulting for a day and let's just say, reality fatigue set in.
16. I used to be delusional, but then my car wouldn't start and stranded me. Thanks, reality!
17. I used to be delusional, but then I went to the grocery store and saw the price of avocados. Enough said.
18. I used to be delusional, but then laundry multiplied like rabbits and reality hit in the form of a overflowing hamper.
19. I used to be delusional, but then I tried to wear my favorite outfit from high school...let's just say reality is a harsh critic.
20. I used to be delusional, but then I attempted to cut my own hair. Needless to say, reality came with a pair of clippers.