Complete this statement in 20 humorous different sentences:
"I used to be schizophrenic but..."
- "... now I can finally have a decent conversation with myself. Turns out, I'm pretty witty!"
- "... now I only hear one voice in my head complaining about student loans. Progress?"
- "... now I can pay double for movie tickets. Two eyes, two experiences, right?"
- "... now my online dating profile is extra exciting. 'Looking for love, and maybe a ghost or two!'"
- "... now I need double the coffee to keep up with all my internal monologues."
- "... now I'm a human echo chamber. Everything I say comes back to me... literally."
- "... now I'm a party of one! But hey, at least the dishes always get done."
- "... now I can finally win arguments against myself. Take that, inner critic!"
- "... now parallel parking is a breeze. I can see both sides of the car perfectly!"
- "... now I need double the wardrobe. You never know what mood my imaginary friend is in."
- "... now hide-and-seek champion. Nobody can hide from me, not even myself!"
- "... now a mime extraordinaire. Turns out talking to yourself looks pretty impressive without sound."
- "... now a freelance brainstorming consultant. Two heads are better than one, right?"
- "... now the world's best ping pong player. Who needs an opponent when you have two hands?"
- "... now a ghost whisperer in training. Turns out all those voices weren't so imaginary after all."
- "... now a world-class multitasker. I can argue with myself and make dinner at the same time!"
- "... now writing a tell-all book titled 'My Adventures in Schizophrenia: It Wasn't All Bad!'"
- "... now the world's worst secret keeper. I can't even keep my own thoughts a secret!"
- "... now offering a discount on therapy sessions. Two for the price of one! (Imaginary friend not included)"
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