World Famous Poet--The Raven

 

The Raven according to Hilt  Kirkpatrick

The Raven 2.0

Once upon a fridge, so greasy (midnight snack, a cheesy wheezy)
Came a rapping sound, quite wheezy, rapping at my cupboard door.
"Surely that can't be," I muttered, "Some rogue chipmunk, slightly flustered?"
Open flew the door, and flustered, in a crow of inky black,
Stood a feathered fiend, unflustered, perched upon a box of Snack.

(Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore.")

"Edgar," croaked the feathered fellow (not a raven, more a fellow
With a beak that looked like yellow, safety glasses perched on top),
"Tell me true, with fridge so bare, is there not a crumb to spare?
For I've flown quite far, I swear, and my tummy's making quite a flop."

(Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore.")

Startled by this avian freeloader, with his chipmunk-like demeanor,
(Though his beak was far obscener), words began to tumble out.
"Friend," I said, with voice quite treaded, "Though your hunger sounds quite pleaded,
This is just my cheese, conceded, for a movie marathon, no doubt."

(Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore.")

Turning up his feathery bonnet, with a squawk both fierce and bonnet-y,
Cried the crow, "A movie night, you say? Perfect timing on this day!
For I've seen every single one, every plot beneath the sun,
And with expert critiques I'll stun, making boredom take its flight!"

(Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore" (though he secretly craved more.))