BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Well, howdy folks, I'm gonna tell you a story today about a fella who had three daughters. Now, the two eldest ones, they weren't exactly lookers, but the youngest, well she was a sight for sore eyes. Her hair was black as a crow's wing and her cheeks were like two rosy apples. This fella, he doted on that youngest daughter somethin' fierce.

Things were going swimmingly for a while. The fella was a prosperous man, but then his luck soured. He lost one ship after another, and pretty soon he was flat broke.  One day, he calls his daughters together and says, "Listen here gals, I gotta go on a long trip. I ain't rich no more, but I want to bring you each a present. Whatcha want?"

Well, the two older ones, they started thinkin' 'bout all the fancy things they could get. The eldest wanted a velvet robe with gold stitching, and shoes to match, of course. And the other one, she wanted a pearl necklace and bracelets and all that jazz. The fella, he wasn't too happy about how expensive these things were, but he didn't want to disappoint them neither.

Then he turns to his youngest daughter, Beauty, and asks what she wants.  "Well, Papa," says Beauty, "you've done so much for me already, I don't need nothin'. But if you were to get me somethin', a rose would be just fine."

The older sisters, they about fainted dead away. They thought Beauty was just trying to show them up, like she was some kind of saint. But that weren't the case at all. Beauty, she just had a pure heart.

The fella gives Beauty a kiss and heads off on his trip. Well, after a long journey, he gets to this town, and guess what? He loses even more money!  By the time he heads back home, he's a pauper.  But on the way back, he gets caught in a terrible storm and ends up lost in a big ol' forest.

He wanders around for what seems like forever, until he stumbles upon this grand castle. Now, the fella had never heard of such a place, but he was plumb tuckered out, so he rides up and knocks on the door.

The door swings open, and lo and behold, there ain't nobody there! The fella steps inside and calls out, but it's quiet as a mouse. He wanders from room to room, and everything is just grand – fancy furniture, rich tapestries, the whole shebang. But there ain't a soul to be seen.

Finally, he comes to a room with a table all set for a feast. The plates are gold, and the food looks fit for a king. The fella, he's starved, so he sits down and tucks right in. And while he's eatin', he hears the most beautiful music playin', like it's comin' from outta nowhere.

Well, the fella has a mighty fine meal, and then he finds a room to sleep in. There's even new clothes laid out for him! In the mornin', when he wakes up, his old clothes are gone, and there's a bag full of gold coins waitin' for him. Now, the fella is gettin' more and more confused, but he don't complain none.

He goes outside to see what this grand place looks like in the daylight. There's gardens everywhere, prettier than any he's ever seen before. And there, right in the middle of one of the gardens, is a rose bush with the most beautiful roses you ever did see.

The fella remembers Beauty's wish, and he figures it wouldn't hurt to pick her one rose. He reaches out and picks the biggest, prettiest rose he can find.  Just as he does that, there's a huge clap of thunder, the ground starts shakin', and the ugliest lookin' beast you ever did see comes stompin' out of nowhere!

"You miserable varmint!" roars the beast. "What have you done? I offered you everything in this castle, and you had to go and mess with my rose bush? The thing I treasure most in the whole world! For this, you shall surely die!"

The fella is scared half to death. "Oh please, Mister Beast," he begs, "I didn't mean no harm. Just let me go, and I won't never bother you again!"

"No sirree," says the beast. "You done messed up something good, and now you gotta pay."

The fella pleads and begs for mercy, and finally the beast takes pity on him. "Alright," says the beast, "I'

"Alright," says the beast, scratchin' his head with a giant paw, "if I let you go, whatcha gonna give me in return?"

The fella thinks for a moment, then says, "Well, beast, I ain't got much left. I lost all my money and now I'm just a poor man. All I got left are my three daughters."

The beast's eyes light up like two lanterns. "Give me one of your daughters to be my wife, and we'll call it even!"

The fella's jaw about hits the floor. The idea of his daughter marryin' this hideous beast was about as pleasant as a skunk smellin' daisy. But he also knew that if he refused, the beast would probably tear him limb from limb.

"I'll give you three months to think it over," growls the beast. "But you gotta promise me you'll come back here then and either bring me one of your daughters or be prepared to meet your maker!"

The fella had no choice but to agree. As soon as he promised, the beast vanished, and the fella was free to go. Let me tell you, he hightailed it outta that forest faster than a greased pig!

He rode for what seemed like days, his heart heavy as a stone. He couldn't imagine givin' up any of his daughters to that beast, but he also didn't want to die.

When he finally got home, his daughters were overjoyed to see him. The two older ones practically drooled over the fancy gifts he brought them, but Beauty, bless her heart, noticed the sadness in his eyes.

"Papa," she says gently, "what's wrong? Did somethin' bad happen?"

At first, the fella couldn't bring himself to tell her, but Beauty wouldn't let him keep it a secret. Finally, he spilled the beans about the castle, the beast, and the awful deal he had to make.

The older daughters acted like they were gonna faint. There was no way they were marryin' somethin' that looked like a cross between a bear and a badger! But Beauty, ever the kind soul, surprised them all.

"You won't die, Papa," she declared. "I'll go be the beast's bride."

The older sisters about choked on their spit. "That's right!" they chimed in. "It's all Beauty's fault anyway. If she hadn't asked for that stupid rose, none of this would've happened!"

The fella didn't like the way his older daughters were talkin', but Beauty wouldn't hear of him refusin'. She was the dearest daughter he had, and he hoped maybe one of the older ones would volunteer instead. But no such luck.

So, after three long months, the fella had to take Beauty back to the castle. They rode through the dark forest, and the fella couldn't help but feel a knot of worry tightenin' in his stomach.

Well, that's all for now, folks. I'll tell you all about Beauty's adventure in the beast's castle next time!