I went to my 50th high school reunion and all I saw ...
...was a slideshow titled "Then vs. Now" that should have been called "Dinosaurs vs. Dust Bunnies."
...were name tags with hilariously outdated nicknames like "Skippy" and "The Fridge."
...was a fierce competition over who could reminisce about the cafeteria food with the most fondness (mystery meat, anyone?).
...were people insisting they hadn't aged a day, despite needing a map to navigate their own wrinkles.
...was a desperate scramble to find classmates who looked young enough to be mistaken for your date.
...were conversations filled with tales of hip replacements, grandkids, and the best places to get discounted depends.
...was a buffet where the main course was reminiscing about the good ol' days and the dessert was prune crumble.
...were people trying to convince me they were valedictorian (pretty sure that was Susan, not Steve with the toupee).
...was a chorus of "Who was that again?" every time someone new walked in.
...was a competition over who retired first, with the prize being bragging rights and possibly a discounted bus pass.
...was a desperate search for the teacher who gave me detention – turns out, they needed a walker too.
...was a chance to relive high school drama, except this time everyone argued about early bird specials instead of prom dates.
...was a constant battle between nostalgia and the realization that everyone, including me, looked like a deflated whoopie cushion.
...was a reminder that friendships can last a lifetime, even if you can't remember half your classmates' names.
...was proof that life gets better with age – at least you don't have to take geometry anymore.
...was a celebration of how far we've all come, even if some of us took a wrong turn at the "adulting" exit.
...was a heartwarming reminder that even though our bodies may be failing, our ability to gossip is stronger than ever.
...was a night filled with laughter, awkward encounters, and the overwhelming urge to nap.
...was all worth it, just to see Mr. Johnson, the strictest teacher, trip over the dance floor disco ball.
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