DIY-- A traditional comedic storytelling performance with two performers talking about inflation

 

Inflation

Characters:

    Mildred: A seasoned shopper with a sharp wit and a fading memory.
    Bernie: Mildred's ever-optimistic nephew, full of creative (and sometimes questionable) solutions.

(Setting:  Mildred's kitchen. A grocery bag sits on the counter, overflowing with a single banana and a box of cereal.)

Act I: The Sticker Shock

(Mildred enters, slamming the grocery bag on the counter. Bernie is sipping coffee.)

Mildred: Bernie! Come look at this outrage!

Bernie: (Looks up) Woah, calm down, Aunt Mildred. What's gotten your knickers in a twist?

Mildred: This! (Holds up the banana) One measly banana! Remember when you could get a whole bunch for a dollar? Now this beauty set me back two whole bucks!

Bernie: (Chuckles) Inflation's a real doozy, huh? Remember when you used to brag about getting a steak for a fiver? Now you gotta settle for mystery meat surprise.

Mildred: Don't even get me started on the cereal! This tiny box cost more than my first phone call! Back in my day, a quarter got you a chat and a bag of peanuts!

Bernie: Now a quarter gets you… well, let's just say it wouldn't even buy a gumball these days. Look on the bright side, Aunt Mildred, at least you got some exercise carrying that "banana bonanza" home.

Mildred: Exercise? More like a struggle to keep my wallet from crying! This is ridiculous! We gotta do something!

Bernie: (Eyes light up) Now you're talking! We can beat this inflation thing! Just gotta think outside the… uh… grocery aisle.

Act II: The Barter Bonanza

(Bernie rummages through cabinets, pulling out mismatched socks, a dusty board game, and a half-used jar of pickles.)

Mildred: Bernie, what in the world are you doing?

Bernie: We're going barter hunting, Aunt Mildred! We trade these treasures for groceries! You know, like in the olden days!

Mildred: You think anyone wants a used sock with a mysterious stain?

Bernie: Maybe not, but who can resist the allure of a never-before-played board game called "Medieval Mayhem?" Plus, pickles are a classic! Everyone loves pickles.

Mildred: (Shakes her head, but a smile creeps across her face) You're a lunatic, Bernie, but let's see where this goes.

(They head outside, Bernie proudly carrying his "barter basket." They approach a young couple bagging groceries.)

Bernie: Excuse me! We come in peace, bearing gifts! We see you have… (Peers into their bags) …lettuce and… uh… what is that, mystery meat surprise?

Young Woman: (Confused) Uh, yeah…

Bernie: Intriguing! But may we interest you in the thrilling world of "Medieval Mayhem?" Guaranteed to last longer than the mystery meat. Plus, a free pickle with purchase!

(The couple exchange a look, then burst out laughing.)

Young Man: You know what, I can't resist that pickle. Deal!

Bernie: (Triumphant) Take that, inflation! We got lettuce AND a victory for barter!

(Mildred and Bernie continue their bartering adventure, trading their odds and ends for groceries. The audience sees them haggling with a grumpy butcher, convincing a teenager with a jar of pickles and a sock to part with a candy bar, and even winning a bet with a group of kids, trading "Medieval Mayhem" for a bag of apples.)

(Finally, they return home, bags full of groceries.)

Mildred: Well, I'll be darned, Bernie. Who knew a pickle could buy so much?

Bernie: It's all about resourcefulness, Aunt Mildred! We may not be winning the war on inflation, but we sure are winning the battle on… uh… pickling our way to victory?

(Mildred and Bernie laugh, sharing a sense of accomplishment and a full grocery bag. The play ends with a spotlight on the banana, the sole survivor of the original shopping trip.)

(End Scene)