Critical tasks that a old surgeon should not do after 80.

 

15 critical tasks that a old surgeon should not do after 80.

1. Performing Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy with Butterfly Net: While minimally invasive surgery is great, even the most seasoned surgeon might struggle with a net and cause more chaos than calm.
2. Operating by Humming Show Tunes: While a cheerful disposition is lovely, complex surgery requires focus beyond "Do-Re-Mi."
3. Duel-Wielding Scalpels While Blindfolded: Trust us, even the most skilled surgeon needs good eyesight and clear judgment.
4. Transplanting Organs with a Team of Trained Pigeons: Adorable, but perhaps not the most reliable surgical assistants.
5. Using a Manual Can Opener for Sternum Separation: There are specialized tools for a reason, and a can opener just isn't one of them.
6. Asking the Patient to Hold the Flashlight: Patients deserve the best possible lighting during surgery, not a DIY approach.
7. Replacing Blood Loss with Wine (Even the Expensive Kind): Wine may be good with cheese, but not so much for blood transfusions.
8. Suturing with Dental Floss: Flossing is important, but it belongs in the bathroom, not the operating room.
9. Explaining the Procedure Through Interpretive Dance: While some surgeons may be graceful, interpretive dance might not be the clearest way to explain a complex surgery.
10. Challenging the Anesthesiologist to a Thumb War During the Procedure: Friendly competition is great, but not while a patient's life hangs in the balance.
11. Using Pigeons for Blood Typing: Back to the birds - some things are best left to professionals.
12. Replacing a Pacemaker Battery with a AA: Wrong size, wrong voltage, definitely wrong idea.
13. Taking a Power Nap Mid-Surgery on the Operating Table: Rest is important, but surgery requires constant focus.
14. Replacing Lost Surgical Tools with Random Kitchen Utensils: Spatulas and whisks belong in the kitchen, not the OR.
15. Announcing Retirement by Performing a Magic Trick with the Patient's Appendix: While a grand exit is tempting, best leave the magic to professionals (and keep the appendix where it belongs).