Critical tasks that financial executives should not do after 80.

 

15 critical tasks that financial executives should not do after 80.

1. Balance the Books with Abacus Beads: While impressive finger dexterity is commendable, high-pressure financial calculations deserve a modern calculator, not Roman counting tools.
2. Negotiate Mergers on Papyrus Scrolls: Important financial deals deserve the permanence (and searchability) of digital records, not scrolls prone to crumbling and crocodile attacks on the Nile.
3. Chase Stock Ticker Updates on Penny-Farthing Bicycles: Financial markets move fast. Ditch the vintage bicycle and embrace the speed of the internet to stay ahead.
4. Conduct Board Meetings by Carrier Pigeon: Encrypted emails or video conferencing are far more secure and efficient ways to communicate critical financial information.
5. Analyze Market Trends with a Crystal Ball: Financial forecasts rely on data and analysis, not mystical predictions. Leave the crystal ball for carnival booths.
6. Accept Payments in Barter: While a side hustle in artisanal cheese-making is charming, modern financial institutions offer more secure and reliable payment methods.
7. Duel at Dawn Over Investment Strategies: Financial disagreements are best settled with logic and data, not pistols at sunrise.
8. Use a Slide Rule for Complex Financial Modeling: Spreadsheet software offers far greater computational power for financial models. Leave the slide rule in the museum.
9. Offer Financial Advice in Exchange for Yarn: Professional financial guidance deserves proper compensation, not barter for crafting supplies (though a well-knit scarf is a nice bonus).
10. Hide Financial Statements in Smoke Signals: Transparency is key in the financial world. Smoke signals are best left for wilderness survival training.
11. Negotiate International Deals with Sign Language (Unless You're a Master): Miscommunication can be costly. Utilize translation services or brush up on your foreign language skills.
12. Ride a Segway to Close Big Deals: While a grand entrance is fun, leave the transportation to reliable (and less wobbly) methods.
13. Memorize Every Stock Symbol: Your brainpower is better spent on strategic thinking. Financial databases can handle memorization of symbols.
14. Write Financial Reports on a Typewriter: Technology advances for a reason. Embrace the efficiency and speed of modern word processing software.
15. Hold onto Power for Dear Life: Financial leadership thrives on fresh perspectives. Embrace succession planning and mentorship to ensure a smooth transition when the time comes.