Too much horsepower!!

 

Too much horsepower in your electric bicycle

Subject: My E-Bike is Having an Existential Crisis (It Wants to be a Motorcycle)

Dear [Electric Bike Company Name],

Where do I even begin? Look, I love my e-bike. It's been a trusty steed, getting me around town with the wind in my hair (or helmet, depending on traffic). But lately, things have gotten a tad... intense.

I'm not sure if it's been hitting the gym (Peloton for e-bikes maybe?), but the acceleration on this thing has gotten downright exhilarating. This morning, the pedal assist nearly launched me into low orbit on my way to the bakery. I swear, I saw pigeons scatter and a bulldog do a double take.

Don't get me wrong, zipping past slowpokes on the bike path is undeniably fun. But dodging startled pedestrians and squirrels who think I'm a blur on two wheels is getting a bit much. I'm starting to suspect my e-bike aspires to be a full-fledged motorcycle.

Is there a way to dial back the horsepower a notch? Maybe a "chill mode" for us mellow riders who enjoy a leisurely electric breeze, not a face-melting blast of speed?

Perhaps you could include a "squirrel detection" feature in the next software update? Just a thought.

In all seriousness, I love my e-bike, but a little less, well, oomph would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening, and maybe send some calming chamomile tea for this jittery cyclist.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

P.S. On second thought, maybe hold off on the chamomile tea. I might need the extra alertness to tame this speed demon.