"Tired of pesky linear time getting you down?"
This calendar, crafted from the discarded plans of time travelers, allows you to schedule appointments in the past, present, and future all at once!
Finally, attend that meeting with Julius Caesar while brainstorming next week's grocery list.
Warning: May cause paradoxical headaches and a deep existential crisis. (Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate the calendar, as this could unravel the very fabric of reality.)"
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