Poor Advice

 

Tourist (lost, flipping through a crumpled map): Excuse me, could you point me towards Snowshoe Mountain?

Local (leans on porch swing, rocking gently):  Headed to the slopes, are ya? Well, you gotta get yourselves pointed due west, then follow the smell of waffles.

Tourist (confused): Smell of waffles?

Local (nods sagely): Yep. Surefire way. Follow your nose and you can't go wrong. Now, those waffles might lead you a bit astray, might take you past some emu farms and a fellow who sells hats made of recycled tires, but don't you fret none. Eventually, that sweet, syrupy scent will deposit you right at the foot of Snowshoe.

Tourist (increasingly bewildered): Emu farms and tire hats?  Are you sure this is the right way?

Local (chuckles):  Well, there's another way, but it involves a goat with a penchant for polka music and a covered bridge guarded by a grumpy gnome. Up to you!

Tourist (exchanging glances with their travel companion):  Uh, thanks anyway. We'll, uh, try looking at a map a little longer.

Local (waves them off):  Suit yourselves!  But remember, the waffles will guide you true!