Apology--Salt Shaker Press

 

 

Office of the Mayor

Frost, West Virginia 24963

January 27, 2026

Mr. Samuel Higgins

123 Traveler’s Way

Arlington, VA 22201

RE: Traffic Citation – Intersection of Route 28 and County Route 13

Dear Mr. Higgins,

First off, let me offer my sincerest apologies for the sour note your visit to Frost ended on. It’s never our intention for a guest to leave our mountain home with nothing but a yellow slip of paper and a lighter wallet. We appreciate you choosing to spend your time and gas money in our neck of the woods, and I’m truly sorry for the frustration this ticket has caused you.

I wanted to reach out personally to explain why that red light exists at the intersection by Bessie Gray’s store. To those passing through, it might seem like a bit of a "stop-and-go" trap in the middle of nowhere, but for those of us who live here, it’s a matter of keeping the peace—and the fenders—intact.

Since the opening of the new Dollar Store, traffic patterns in Frost have changed more than any of us expected. On a busy Saturday, we have folks pulling in and out of that lot constantly. The Town Council made the difficult decision to install that signal to manage the congestion and ensure that folks can safely pull back into the flow of traffic after they’ve finished their shopping. Before that light went in, trying to make a left turn at Bessie’s was a bit like a game of "Mountain Chicken," and we’d rather keep our citizens and visitors out of the body shop.

We aren't trying to be a "speed trap" town; we’re just trying to keep the new growth from turning our main drag into a parking lot.

I’ve taken the liberty of copying this letter to Officer Dipstick, just so he’s aware of our correspondence and your concerns. We hope that despite this hiccup, you’ll consider coming back to visit us again. The coffee at the store is still hot, and the scenery is still free.

Warm regards,

The Mayor of Frost

Pocahontas County, West Virginia

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CC: Officer Dipstick, Frost Traffic Enforcement

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OFFICE OF THE MAYOR

TOWN OF FROST, WEST VIRGINIA

INTERNAL MEMO

TO: Officer Dipstick

FROM: The Mayor

DATE: January 27, 2026

SUBJECT: Selective Enthusiasm at the Bessie Gray Intersection

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Dipstick,

I just finished writing an apology letter to a fella from Arlington, Virginia, who seems to think your ticket-writing hand is the fastest in the Appalachian Mountains.

Now, look—we all appreciate your dedication to the new red light. We spent a lot of Town Council meetings debating that thing, and goodness knows we need to keep the folks coming out of the Dollar Store from T-boning the log trucks. Traffic flow is a priority, and safety is paramount.

However, I’m getting the feeling you’re lurking behind Bessie’s store like a mountain lion in the brush. While I’m glad you’re keeping the "out-of-staters" on their toes, let’s try to remember that we want them to spend their money at the register, not just at the courthouse.

If you keep picking off every tourist who treats that light like a "suggestion," I’m going to be spendin' my whole Tuesday morning lickin' envelopes for apology letters.

Maybe ease up just a hair? Or at least let them finish their coffee first.

Best,

H. "Buck" Miller Mayor of Frost

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Would you like me to create a "Notice of Public Hearing" for the next Frost Town Council meeting to discuss the "Dollar Store Traffic Crisis"?

TOWN OF FROST, WEST VIRGINIA

OFFICIAL NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING

SUBJECT: The "Dollar Store Traffic Crisis" & Intersection Safety

DATE: February 10, 2026

TIME: 7:00 PM

LOCATION: Frost Town Hall (Downstairs Community Room)

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NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the Frost Town Council will convene a special public hearing to address the ongoing traffic challenges and mounting citizen concerns regarding the intersection of Route 28 and County Route 13, specifically the area surrounding Bessie Gray’s Store and the new Dollar Store.

Since the installation of the new traffic signal, the Council has received a "notable volume" of feedback regarding congestion, ticket frequency, and the general loss of our "small-town pace."

The Agenda for this hearing shall include:

• The "Dollar Store Drift": Strategies for managing the line of vehicles attempting to exit the Dollar Store parking lot during peak Saturday morning hours.

• Signal Timing: A review of whether the red light is "too long" (according to everyone in a hurry) or "too short" (according to everyone turning left).

• Enforcement Policy: A report from the Mayor regarding recent correspondence with out-of-state visitors and a general discussion on Officer Dipstick’s "proactive" patrolling of the area.

• The "Bessie Gray Buffer": Evaluating the line-of-sight issues for folks pulling out of the store with a carload of groceries.

Public Comment:

All residents, business owners, and disgruntled commuters are invited to speak. Please limit your comments to three minutes, and try to keep the "colorful language" to a minimum—this is a family meeting.

BY ORDER OF THE TOWN COUNCIL

Mayor H. "Buck" Miller

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NOTE: Due to the expected turnout, if the downstairs room reaches capacity, latecomers are asked to wait on the porch. Please do not park in the Dollar Store lot unless you are actually shopping; we’d like to avoid irony for one evening.

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