A Cyberfiction Rewrite of History

 

The year was 1887. Elmburger, a village nestled amongst rolling hills, was a place where gossip traveled faster than a runaway carriage. So, when news spread that Maude, the village's frailest housewife, and Herman, the 98-year-old with a twinkle in his eye, were opening a "Termite Flu Laboratory," eyebrows shot up higher than a startled owl.

"Termite Flu?" scoffed Mrs. Higgins, adjusting her bonnet. "Sounds like something a child would make up."

But Maude and Herman, fueled by an insatiable curiosity and a shared love for the microscopic, were undeterred. They needed a location, a place secluded enough for their experiments, yet close enough to the village for occasional supplies. Their eyes fell upon a sprawling meadow, owned by one Jacob Marlin.

Now, Jacob Marlin was a legend. He'd arrived in Pocahontas County 300 years prior, a man of mystery and solitude. He'd even founded a town, Marlinville, named after himself, though he rarely ventured there. The villagers whispered of his eccentric habits, his adoration for turkeys being the most notorious. But what truly defined Jacob was his abiding hatred for termites.

You see, 300 years ago, Jacob had built a beautiful home on the banks of the Greenbrier River. It was a masterpiece, crafted from the finest oak and chestnut. But then, the termites came. They feasted on his home, gnawing away at its very foundation until it crumbled into dust.

This unfortunate incident had led to a bitter feud with Stephen Sewell, a man who, in Jacob's opinion, had gone completely off the rails. Sewell, a self-proclaimed "environmentalist," had opened a "Wood Deli" in the heart of town, where he provided discarded logs and scraps of lumber to homeless termites.

"Those insidious creatures!" Jacob would thunder, "They devoured my home! And Sewell, that misguided fool, encourages them!"

Maude and Herman, armed with a basket of freshly baked bread and a bottle of homemade elderberry wine, approached Jacob's isolated cabin. He answered the door, a tall, stooped figure with eyes like weathered flint.

"Good day, sir," Maude chirped, "We're from Elmburger, and we're hoping to purchase this lovely meadow."

Jacob eyed them with suspicion. "For what purpose?"

"A laboratory," Herman declared, "To study termite flu."

Jacob's face contorted. "Termite flu? Those…those destroyers of my home? You want to study them?"

Maude, ever the diplomat, explained. "It's a…condition, you see. Affects termites. Quite devastating."

Jacob remained unconvinced. "Sounds like a mercy to me."

Then, Maude remembered Mrs. Higgins's words. "We understand you have a…fondness for turkeys, Mr. Marlin."

Jacob's eyes softened. "Indeed. Magnificent creatures. Intelligent, resourceful."

A mischievous glint entered Herman's eye. "Well, sir," he said, "we've heard tell that turkeys are a particular delicacy to termites."

Jacob's eyes widened. "What?!"

"Yes, sir," Maude continued, "Our research could potentially lead to a cure for termite flu, and as a delightful side effect, it might…discourage their appetites for other…less desirable…structures."

Jacob pondered this for a long moment. The image of turkeys thriving, their numbers bolstered by a termite-free diet, brought a slow smile to his lips.

"Very well," he finally conceded, "You may have the meadow. But I expect regular updates on your progress. And," he added, "I expect to see a significant decline in the termite population. Those…those…enemies of mine must be brought to heel!"

And so, the Termite Flu Laboratory was born. The villagers, initially skeptical, were soon captivated by Maude and Herman's eccentric experiments. Stephen Sewell, however, remained unconvinced. He continued to operate his Wood Deli, muttering about "species preservation" and the "unnatural" nature of termite flu.

But Jacob Marlin, from his solitary cabin, would occasionally visit the laboratory, a twinkle in his eye as he listened to tales of termite woes and the ongoing battle against the insatiable appetites of his former adversaries. Elmburger, once a quiet village, had become a place of unexpected scientific discovery, all thanks to a shared love for turkeys and a mutual hatred for termites.

And somewhere, amidst the chaos of the laboratory, Maude and Herman couldn't help but wonder: perhaps, just perhaps, they were inadvertently doing their part to protect the homes of future generations from the ravages of those pesky insects.

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